Busy at the moment and need to cut to the chase?  Click on "Trust & Try" to get to the actionable piece - in this case - a tool you can use to stop chasing clutter around your house - and skip the story behind the tool.

  Dear Friends,

I don't know how it happens...  I've got "everything" put away and then suddenly the stragglers become more visible  - the errant item, piece to a puzzle and other random items you didn't even know were there collectively feel bigger.  Now that we have our Tidy-Up routine back in place (thanks to PAUSE CARDS) I'm more aware of the clutter in our home.  I'm actively learning how to decrease clutter in the first place, but in the meantime I'm super pumped about a system we're trying out.   

With L.O.V.E.,

Sarah

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Pause:  Clutter Anyone?

As I join the boys in putting things away I find myself distracted.  I'm distracted by things we aren't picking up - I'm so distracted that instead of putting away the paint supplies we've finished using I'm mentally trying to figure out where this random knob came from, what it goes to and where I might put it so that I'm "guaranteed" to remember this super special spot whenever I find the thing it belongs to in the first place.  Repeat.  

This is clearly adding to my decision fatigue in that I know I've tracked this knob down multiple times only to have "lost" it again whenever I find the board.  Making a decision halfway is my only guarantee of needing to make it all over again.  Until now... 

Trust & Try! - Ready for Action?  Jump to the Tidy-Up Tool

Tools for Tidying-Up

Repeat from last week - If you're curious to learn more about how to design a routine with young children in mind - have no fear - it will eventually be written.  For now, I'll focus on one tangible tool specific to Tidy-Up Time:

• Clutter Cart - an organizational tool 

Whether you have a tidy-up routine you do with your children or if you do all the tidying yourself - the CLUTTER CART works because it decreases the number of decisions we, as parents, need to make on a regular basis as to where to put random "stuff" as we're tidying-up.

Need For An Organizational Tool

Even when the majority of things are put away - there is the inevitable clutter throughout the house.  Over time, I've realized that this clutter falls into one of three categories:

1. Things that don't yet have a place to belong - usually new things/things that are being brought back into rotation, or smaller random things

2. Things that need mending - a torn page in a book, broken pieces, etc

3. Things that we no longer need and are ready to part with

Well... AND junk

At best, I seem to shuffle these things around in their own little piles all around our home, making it more difficult to actually find a place for things, mend others or get things out of our home before "we" change our minds.  At worst, I just leave them scattered about, not even finding the mental energy to decide where to begin my pile when I'm trying to tidy-up.

Enter - The CLUTTER CART

The CLUTTER CART is a place for my piles to live until they are dealt with.  

Whatever the categories of clutter in your home, having a place - ONE place - has been a game changer over here.  We're a little over one week in and what a difference - both to our physical space and my cognitive space.  I'm no longer trying to remember where I put what and I'm also no longer the only one who knows where to put (and where to find) these things!  To say it's been liberating sounds silly - but it's true.  I didn't realize how much energy these 3 categories had been eating up.  Just yesterday, Leif was looking all around for his snowman "winder-upper" and without consulting me, the third or fourth place he looked was IN the clutter cart - AND he FOUND IT!!  I'm not sure who was happier.  

Before the CLUTTER CART, this would've been one of the still hundreds of tasks that fill my days.

Set Up

Thanks to my go-to-expert Liz Byrne - The Gentle Minimalist, I learned about the benefits of having the "right stuff", structure and supporting behavior.  In this case, the stuff is made up of your clutter categories, the structure is where - the ONE place your clutter categories can coexist and lastly, the supporting behavior - making sure everyone is able to use it.   

1. Identify your family clutter categories (STUFF)

Awareness is an incredible thing - once you begin seeing clutter in categories it becomes more and more obvious AND easier to deal with.

• Ours are 

  1. Things that don't belong anywhere (yet)

  2. Things that need to be fixed or mended

  3. Things that we are ready to give away

2. Choose your structure

As I was looking for a structure that would hold all 3 categories together while also being separate, I noticed a post for two 3-drawer carts on my favorite Facebook group - Buy Nothing.  If you have one in your area - I highly recommend!  I try not to buy new plastic and felt just wonderful about giving these carts a second life (the second one will be used for toy rotation).  Anywho - finding the cart = structure selected!

2. • • You could easily use boxes in a cabinet or bins stacked on one another or bags hanging from hooks - the key is accessibility.  If it's too difficult to get to, you likely won't be using it much, and neither will the other members of your family.

3. Use it (Supporting Behavior)

This sounds so obvious - but in practice it's worth noting that there are 2 Supporting Behaviors necessary here - the collecting and the clearing all you've gathered around your home. 

Collection:

• Collect Your Clutter

I gathered my mini piles from around the house and merged them into 3 groups in the middle of our rug downstairs.  I also gathered my boys during TJ's nap and we decided that: the top drawer would be for things that don't belong anywhere (yet) - and would be a clever place to look if something is 'lost'.  The middle drawer would be for anything that needed mending,(because when you're 5 alliteration is fun and makes too much sense not to use) and the bottom drawer would be perfect for anything we were ready to part with - in our case - the drawer for the Buy Nothing Group aka - the "Sharing Group" as Josh and Leif like to call it.

Clearing:

• Clearing the Mending Category

Strike while the iron is hot!  We happened to do this together on a Monday and Josh and Leif immediately wanted to mend the wooden ambulance that was in the mending drawer.  We got busy right away!  As we were mending Joshua proclaimed that from now on we would have "Mending Mondays" (more alliteration LOVE) - every Monday we would see if there was anything to mend and if so - we'd fix it.  I found myself oddly grateful that the ambulance was in need of repair - the positive association between the clutter cart and one of their beloved toys was all that we needed to cement this into our weekly flow.  

Please note - we do NOT mend everything in the drawer.  No.  I feel certain that if I put that kind of pressure on myself I'd simply avoid "Mending Mondays" altogether.  Instead, we pick 1 or 2 things we'd like to mend and after that we flow with the day.  Do we feel like mending more?  Great - let's do it.  Are we content with the few items that will soon be back in action?  Great - let's simply bask in our completed task.  

• Clearing the No Place to Belong Category

On Friday, we returned to the CLUTTER CART - and we opened the top drawer.  I will warn you - for us, opening the drawer felt a bit like Pandora's Box - their eyes wide at the many treasures collected inside and they just couldn't wait to get them ALL out.  I realized that getting the entire drawer out would compromise it's purpose, so I quickly adjusted course.  

"We have SOOOOO many treasures to take care of - we will take care of 3 at a time.  Each of you can choose 3 things to take care of from the drawer.  Let's take turns choosing."  

PHEW - their energy was easily funneled in the right direction and "Find a Place Fridays" were born.

• These are things that need a place to belong.  They are in the cart because they've been lost or don't have a home yet.

• Sometimes we might notice that we don't need them anymore and we are ready to part with them or give them to someone else.

This was an unexpected bonus - as we found places for the 6 things the boys gravitated toward, it became very clear that some things didn't need a place at all.  If you'd been a fly on the wall, you'd have heard Josh say, "I don't even think we need to take up any shelves with this," as he automatically moved it to the give drawer.  No bridge, no suggestion - the system simply made sense to him.

• Clearing the Part-With/No Longer Needed Category

There are a few ways to think about this - and depending on what you do with things you're ready to part with will obviously make a big difference.

When the drawer is full, it's time. 

• Donation - Pick a day of the month that will be your donation day.  Ours is the last Wednesday of the Month - mostly because next week is the last week of January and it's the day of the week I typically plan a grocery run, so I know we'll be near our donation spot.

• Giving it to others - Thinking of another person who may genuinely want or need an item is the fastest way to get it out of my home.  There's just something about knowing (or at least believing) that it won't go to waste that frees me up to part with it.  In our case, we either think of a friend or family member - or we post it on the Buy Nothing Group for our friends there!  So, when something goes into the drawer, I simply take a photo and post it as a gift.  The great thing is - if someone would like it I know where to find it - and if no one likes it simply joins other items in the Donation Box.

A Note on Participation

It's natural to have expectations and picture your child(ren) with you every step of the way, fully engaged with the joy in your hearts of equal measure.  It's also not very realistic.  While there will be moments that are what you hope for, there will also be moments when your child(ren) are less interested, less motivated or simply more engaged in other tasks.  And that's more than okay.

The thing is - when a task or a chore is forced, it loses it's inherent value.  This is especially true of young children because they want to do what they see adults doing.  When we provide opportunities for them to join us by inviting them, we must make sure it is a true invitation.  They may accept the invitation and they may not.  If they do - continue on - if they don't - continue on.  

Here's why:

• Visible Work is Valuable

When we save home care tasks, such as organizing (finding a place for something), mending broken items and parting with things for times when our children are either purposely occupied or asleep they don't have the opportunity to observe.  Simply doing the work within sight of our children is valuable.  Over time they become more interested in the doings of day to day.  When they are included or invited they have the opportunity to practice what it is they have seen us doing.  They feel purpose because their work is truly purposeful.  They know this to be true, because - whether or not it looked like it - they've been watching and they know the work is important because they see us taking the time to do it.

Looking Ahead

Over the next few weeks, I'll continue sharing our own journey as we consciously address the causes of Decision Fatigue with potential remedies in hopes that by sharing our experience you gain precious time back as parents.